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                                                            STATEMENT OF AUTHENTICITY

     IT IS HEREBY ABSOLUTELY GUARANTEED THAT THIS XRT TYPE 1 ANTI-MATTER RAYGUN WAS MANUFACTURED IN ITS ENTIRETY BY HUMANOID CREATURES INHABITING THE PLANET CALLED “EARTH” ( OR “TERRA”); WHICH ORBITS THE SUN CALLED “SUN” (OR “SOL”), IN THE SOLAR SYSTEM CALLED “SOLAR SYSTEM”, IN THE GALAXY CALLED “MILKY WAY”, IN THE UNIVERSE CALLED “UNIVERSE”.

     THIS XRT TYPE 1 RAYGUN CONSISTS OF COMPONENTS MANUFACTURED FROM 6005A & 6061 ALUMINUM, 1018 STEEL, 440C STAINLESS STEEL, STAINLESS SPRING STEEL, POLYMETHYL-METHACRYLATE PLASTIC AND/OR PHENOL-FORMALDEHYDE RESIN (WITH A MATRIX OF LINEN CLOTH).

     THE ALUMINUM ALLOYS ARE COMPOSED OF ATOMS OF THE FOLLOWING ELEMENTS: ALUMINUM, COPPER, SILICON, MAGNESIUM & CHROMIUM. THE 1018 STEEL ALLOY IS COMPOSED OF ATOMS OF: IRON, CARBON, MANGANESE, PHOSPHORUS & SULFUR. THE STAINLESS STEEL ALLOYS ARE COMPOSED OF ATOMS OF: IRON, CARBON, MANGANESE, SILICON, PHOSPHORUS, SULFUR, CHROMIUM, NICKEL & MOLYBDENUM. THE POLYMETHYL-METHACRYLATE AND PHENOL-FORMALDEHYDE PLASTICS ARE COMPOSED OF ATOMS OF: CARBON, HYDROGEN & OXYGEN.

     EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THE ATOMS OF THE ABOVE LISTED ELEMENTS CONSIST OF 100% GENUINE & AUTHENTIC  PROTONS, NEUTRONS & ELECTRONS. ALL PROTONS AND NEUTRONS CONSIST OF THREE QUARKS EACH. ALSO PRESENT ARE  VARIOUS QUANTITIES OF SUB-ATOMIC PARTICLES SUCH AS PHOTONS,  NEUTRINOS, BOSONS & MORONS. TO THE BEST OF THE MANUFACTURER’S KNOWLEDGE NO IONS,  ISOTOPES, OR ISOMERS ARE PRESENT AND REGRETS ANY INADVERTENT INCLUSION OF SAME AND ANY INCONVENIENCE THAT THESE MAY CAUSE THE PURCHASER.

     THIS XRT TYPE 1 ANTI-MATTER RAYGUN IS GUARANTEED TO EXIST WITHIN THE SPACE/TIME CONTINUUM INHABITED BY THE PURCHASER AT THE INSTANT OF DELIVERY BY THE U.S. POSTAL SYSTEM OR OTHER CARRIER. THERE IS A 99.99% PROBABILITY OF CONTINUED EXISTANCE IN SAID SPACE/TIME CONTINUUM UNTIL ONE OF THE FOLLOWING EVENTS OCCURS:

1.        THE  SUN CALLED “SUN” ( OR “SOL”) GOES NOVA.

2.       THE PLANET CALLED “EARTH” (OR “TERRA”) IS INVADED BY TRALFAMADOR- IANS* AND ALL XRT TYPE 1’s ARE CONFISCATED.

3.       THE INVENTOR OF THE XRT TYPE 1  COMPLETES HIS HYDROXYL PROFILACTYK INTYGRATOR; AT WHICH TIME ALL XRT’s WILL RETURN TO THEIR POINT OF ORIGIN (IN BOTH SPACE AND TIME).

        *The existance of same was first revealed by Kurt Vonnegut jr.